WONKY TIMES

‘Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt Sr.’ Blamed For Wrong-Way Car Crash

A wonky and bizarre explanation for a motor vehicle misadventure in Las Vegas.

So, here’s a story about a ghostly speed demon. 51-year old Daniel Glen Asseff appeated ready to argue his case during a routine bail hearing when the Judge asked him what the heck happened.

“Do you understand what you’re charged with?” asked Justice of the Peace Ann Zimmerman.

“I understand,” said Asseff, explaining to the court why he drove the wrong way on the interstate in Las Vegas, Nevada. “That was for Dale Earnhardt, Senior, the Intimidator. Earnhardt told me to open that for a racetrack for Nascar and Indy car racing if approved by Mayor Goodman.”

But if his statement sounds bizarre, prosecutors certainly aren’t laughing.

Facing numerous charges for the ill-advised escapade, it remains to be seen whether or not Asseff sticks to that story should he ultimately go on trial, especially since it’s highly unlikely that he’ll be able to get the ghost of Dale Earnhardt Sr. to take the stand in his defense.

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Matt Sterner

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