WONKY TIMES

Mysterious Cattle Mutilations are on the Rise in Oregon

Local police department’s press release says “the cause of these cattle deaths were not natural.”

It’s about time the violence mooooves on in Oregon.

Authorities in the state are investigating another series of mysterious cattle mutilations that have been multiplying over the last few years. Most recently, a new development came to fruition earlier this month when the Crook County Sheriff’s Office issued a press release, announcing that they are in the process of investigating “multiple suspicious cattle deaths.”

The press release also states that the mutilations are happening on “very rural ranch land.”

The only thing the authorities forgot to mention is where and when the incidents had specifically happened. Although, it did provide one rather intriguing clue, saying that “the cause of these cattle deaths were not natural.”

Sergeant Mitch Madden of the Sheriff’s Office gave up a little more information for one of the local TV stations, telling them that they were investigating three cases as well as a possible fourth event and that, in each instance, “certain body parts were removed from the cows.”

So, since there are no answers to what’s actually happening *cough it’s aliens cough* the authorities are asking farmers, ranchers, and the public to be vigilant and ready for anything, basically.

The news of cattle mutilations follows at least five cases reported last year in the state, and a well-known publicized incident from 2019 in which another five moo-moos were killed.




Matt Sterner

Add comment

Leave a Reply

Follow us

Keep up with all of the wonkiest stories by following us on social media.

%d bloggers like this: