WONKY TIMES

Maine is Considering Legalizing ‘Viking Funerals’

If you want to go out with a bang — or in a blaze of glory — you better move to Maine.

People are always thinking of new ways to make sure their loved ones remember them when they’re gone, but this one really takes the cake — a flaming cake.

A new bill has been submitted to Maine’s state Legislature’s Health and Human Services Committee and it would legalize open-air funeral pyres.

In other words, this is the closest you could get to an actual Viking funeral. In other, other words, this means you can go out in a wild blaze of glory, keeping your friends and family members warm during the funeral service.

The funeral pyre is something many have seen on TV, like on The Game of Thrones, Vikings, or in Star Wars films. A handful of great warriors were burnt to a crisp right before our eyes.

If the bill passes, some non-profit corporations in Maine would be allowed to “conduct open-air cremations if they meet certain caveats.”

First, the cremation needs to be conducted on a property at least 20 acres in size that the corporation owns. Secondly, only one funeral pyre would be allowed to be lit at a time. Also, the ashes of an honored warrior, loved one, or co-worker can be scattered either on the funeral property or anywhere else where Maine’s law allows.

So, if this sounds like something you’d like to do when you leave this Earth, you may want to start thinking of specific details in your will. For example, would you like it done extra crispy or original recipe?




Matt Sterner

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